Jealous

Posted by louisa on Tuesday 15 March 2011 in anti-consumerism, meta | 13 comments

As well as learning how to screenprint, we fed our neighbours’ cats this weekend – both the ever-so-friendly white cat next door and the two huge timid-but-getting-friendly black & white chaps next door but one. We feed them quite regularly because our neighbours are social divas & jetsetters – but don’t mind a bit because it only takes five minutes and we get lots of cat hugs as “payment”. I always come back covered in white fluff and get sniffed accusingly by the dog & our (black) cats.

But feeding the cats does have one negative aspect for me: jealousy.

Next door’s house can only be described as a show home. They bought the rundown house cheaply before the boom and spent a huge amount of money refitting it completely. It looks like something from a magazine – the seamless granite worksurfaces buffed to perfection, the wet room sparkling, the guest bedroom like a suite in a boutique hotel. A lovely combination of pristine modern design and wonderful reclaimed vintage items.

Next-door-but-one’s isn’t as expensively polished but my, it’s lovely. It’s more shabby chic – which is more my preferred style – with the emphasis on the chic not the shabby. Muted red & white lino squares set on the diagonal in the kitchen, mismatched dining table chairs, pale walls with coloured woodwork and original (Victorian) features up the wazoo. It feels cosy but relaxed, like a home should.

Can you see why I feel jealous?

A number of my friends have really nice homes but there is something about our neighbours’ houses, particularly next-door-but-one, that really gets to me. I think it’s because, while the layouts are surprisingly different and we have a side extension, the houses are structurally the same so it feels like we could have such gorgeous houses if we threw enough time/money at it. … But what we’ve got – and especially what we’re slowly working on making our own – is fine, more than fine, great in fact.

It feels a bit like what happened with the Kindle a while ago – a desire for something being built up through repeat exposure, not because of a genuine need but it’s shown me what’s possible. Because I generally avoid the broadcast & print media, don’t enjoy browsing/being in shops, and shy away from “stuff” blogs or websites (the only blogs about pretty “stuff” I read are ones showing you how to make said lovely things), I’m not regularly exposed to things that provoke desire in this way. It scares me that these houses, which are not using psychological tricks to sell me things, provoke such a strong emotion: it makes me realise how vulnerable I would be to advertisements, or style magazines.

I find myself thinking about what our house is not – stylish, polished, finished – rather than what it is (a place for us to be happy together, and we are very happy here).

I’m not sure how I’ll get over it, or at least learn to deal with it. Perhaps I should do the self-esteem building/depression-beating trick of writing a list of positive aspects, things I like, about our house to review whenever I’m feeling jealous of the other people’s houses or whatever.

Any other suggestions on how to deal with it?

(Photo by namida-k)