I don’t celebrate Christmas. I don’t buy presents, give cards, eat turkey or see family. For the last few years, I’ve treated it like a normal work day, this year will be a normal Saturday. I think we’ll have pizza for tea and watch a film.
Not a special day for me
I was talking to some (teenage) kids at class about it a few weeks ago and they exclaimed “but it’s Christmas!”, as if it had some natural inherent specialness. I explained that I’m not a Christian and so I feel about Christmas how they might feel about, say, Eid or Hanukkah. It’s something that other people, with other beliefs, celebrate but I don’t.
Christmas was never been a really big deal in my (small) family – apart from a few times when I was very little, it was just the four of us and presents aside, it wasn’t that different from a normal Sunday (we didn’t even have turkey because one third of the family’s meat eaters – my brother – didn’t like it). As I grew into my teens, its specialness ebbed away even further – my dad had to drag us out of bed for lunch – and so when I left home for uni and beyond, I didn’t feel the need to create a big production of my own. For a couple of years, we (me, the ex and a friend) had an unusual-for-us roast dinner but did little else to celebrate (and it was lamb not turkey, and involved a whole lot of chilli). But pretty much since then … nothing.
Such pressure – and such waste
Probably because it’s never really meant that much to me, it was easy for me to leave it behind and now that I’m completely out of it, I find it hard to comprehend how much pressure some people put themselves under in the name of the season – not everyone, not by any means, but a lot of people. The pressure of finding the perfect present or affording an ever growing pile of more expensive presents, the pressure of cooking the perfect meal, the pressure of finding the perfect tree, the pressure of everyone getting along, the overall ongoing pressure to make this year better than it was last year and to make sure everyone has a good time… I’ve had a good number of people (adults rather than kids) tell me that they don’t enjoy Christmas at all, but it’s just something they feel they “have” to do, especially if they have kids. It riles me when people do things because they feel they “should” rather than actively want to do it.
And it’s not just that – the greenie/anti-consumerist in me is obviously outraged at the excess and waste too – the presents-for-presents-sake, the packaging, the food… Basically, it pushes a lot of my buttons.
Every day is special
I think some people think I’m just a Scrooge-ish, contrary bah-humbug type but I’m really not. I just don’t see why 25th Dec is any more worthy of celebration than 19th February or a random Thursday. I see friends & family when I want, we have nice meals when we want and I give presents to people when I see something I think that person would really like or need, rather than keeping it until the end of the year. I would rather enjoy the whole year than saving up all my festive juices for just a couple of days.
I’m not saying that people shouldn’t celebrate Christmas, not in the slightest. I’ll admit that I can see why the old celebration was revived in the 19th century as it gave people something special to look forward to in the middle of winter and I could probably do with more events to look forward to in my calendar – but for me, right now, it’s not worth all the stress and waste.
Rhonda on Down to Earth recently talked about how her Christmases have evolved over the years with the coming and growing of children, and soon grandchildren. Perhaps we’ll be more interested when we start a (non-animal) family in a few years – but coming from a place of rejecting it all, I suspect we’ll pick and choose what bits we do more than most.
If you don’t also celebrate Christmas, I’d love to hear why.
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This is great, as ever, and I hope you have a lovely Saturday.
I’d like to hear more about your starting a human family idea… Is that a definite plan? You know that having children is probably the single biggest contribution you can make to climate change etc – have you thought about it from that angle at all? Have you considered the huge benefits of NOT having children?
I am going to lie in for as long as I like tomorrow, for example :-)
Happy Saturday xx
Hi Alice,
Yes, we’ve thought about that re: kids – and it’s one of the (many) reasons why we’re hoping to adopt. And not for a few years yet – we’re making the most of having long long long lie ins while we can. ;)
(Actually, I’m not getting them at the moment because I’m having to get up to defrost the chickens’ water. Am looking forward to it getting a bit milder again!)
Awesome, it sounds like yours would make a wonderful place for a child to grow up. I think there’s a similar but even greater pressure from family and from society in general to have children, and choosing not to is seen as selfish or strange, a bit like opting out of doing xmas. So this seemed like a kind of appropriate place to mention it.
What a shame about the lie-ins, I thought the automatic door was going to sort that out :-( Perhaps supply the chooks with little tiny pickaxes?
Yes, I’d definitely agree with that. John is the eldest of his siblings and before his younger brother & sister had their kids, we were getting a lot of not-so-subtle hints, including the word “selfish” being used on at least a couple of occasions and we were urged to “just have one”. That we’ve got to 31/32 without reproducing is seen as very deviant.
(Thanks for the kind words – I do hope we can provide a wonderful home for some small ones :) )
The automatic door helped a lot – definitely a good buy – but the drinkers have been frozen *solid* recently so I’ve been having to get up to melt them. Pick axes may be the way forward ;) I don’t mind really because I know it’s only a short term thing and during the week, I kinda have to get up anyway – but both they and I will be happier when it’s a bit warmer!
For the past few years I’ve been trying to get away from Christmas for many reasons. This is the first year that I’ve managed to put my foot down, and keep it down. I’ve been pretty churned up that i seem to have upset some close friends and family but I really dislike the ‘now i’m supposed to’ feeling that’s so expected all the time. It’s now 3.20pm here in New Zealand on Christmas day and i’m starting to feel refreshed and quite comfortable with my ‘born again non Christmas day’.
Thanks for your post. It helped me to become more comfortable about not having Christmas.
Hi Steve, thanks for leaving a comment and I’m glad you enjoyed your Saturday off.
I remember our first couple of no-Christmas years were really tough too – we know we upset family and that’s never a good thing – but it got a lot easier and is much more widely accepted now. I hope it gets easier for you too.
Always winter but never Christmas………………………..